38 Most Ridiculous Excuses for Not Showing Up to Work

“Hi boss. I can’t come into work today. I ate too much at a party and need a day to digest.” Sounds like something from a comedy movie right? But it is, in fact, an actual excuse given by an actual person for having to take a day off work! And the madness doesn’t stop there!

These are the 36 most ridiculous, ludicrous, far-fetched and downright stupid excuses employees have given their bosses for having to take a day off or for showing up late. Enjoy and Happy Friday Recruiters!

1. Employee’s 12-year-old daughter stole his car and he had no other way to get to work. He didn’t want to report the theft to police for fear his daughter would get a criminal record.

Excuses

2. Employee’s cervix was hurting them (the employee was male).

3. Employee said a refrigerator fell on him.

4. Employee’s sobriety device wouldn’t allow him to start his car.

Excuses

5. Employee forgot he was hired for the job.

(Not the best start imaginable!)

6. Employee was in line at a coffee shop when a truck transporting flour backed up and dumped the flour into her convertible.

7. Employee said a deer bit him during hunting season.

Excuses

8. Employee claimed her bus was delayed, before producing a handwritten note “signed” by the bus driver.

9. Employee thought she had won them lottery. (She was mistaken.)

10. Employee fell out of bed and broke his nose.

Excuses

11. Employee claimed her dog was having a mental breakdown.

12. Employee accidentally flushed their car keys down the toilet.

13. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.

Excuses

14. Employee ate too much at a party and needed a day off to digest.

15. Employee said he had to help deliver a baby on the way to work.

16. Employee said an escaped buffalo from a game reserve kept charging at her every time she tried to go to her car from her house.

Excuses

17. Employee had a bad case of the hiccups.

18. Employee said a skunk had gotten into his house and sprayed all of his uniforms.

19. Employee claimed they had cut their fingernails too short and needed to go to the doctor to stem the bleeding.

Excuses

20. Employee felt to was too cold to leave the house.

21. Employee felt it was “too nice outside” to be in the office.

22. Employee was emotionally upset after watching The Hunger Games.

Excuses

23. Employee had to nurse a headache after attending too many garage sales in one weekend.

24. Employee hurt his back while chasing a beaver.

(Beaver aye? ????)

25. Employee poked herself in the eye while combing her hair.

Excuses

26. Employee said his wife had put every last pair of his underwear in the washing machine.

27. Employee was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.

28. Employee’s doctor told her she needed more vitamin D so she was taking a day off to go to the beach.

Excuses

29. Employee accidentally drank anti-freeze and had to go to the hospital.

30. Employee said they chugged a bottle of mouthwash thinking it was Powerade and was now violently sick as a result.

31. Employee said their legs had “fallen asleep” while they sat on the loo. When they stood up they fell and broke their ankle.

Excuses

32. Employee had had a “lucky night” and did know where he was.

33. Employee was at a bowling alley and a bucket of water crashed through the ceiling and hit her on the head.

34. Employee’s hair was still orange from Halloween.

Excuses

35. Employee blamed their cat for unplugging their alarm clock.

36. Employee “forgot” to come back to work after lunch.

37. Employee forgot what day of the week it was.

Excuses

 

And finally…

38. Employee forgot they were getting married today.

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