Episode Key Takeaways
The term ‘microaggression’ itself is misleading. Because it starts with ‘micro,’ people assume these are small, harmless comments that can be ignored. The real issue isn’t the size of the action—it’s the hidden message of exclusion or aggression embedded in everyday comments, behaviors, and slights that accumulate over time and linger psychologically.
Microaggressions are fed by unconscious bias and occur in three ways: everyday comments and behaviors through socialization, both intentional and unintentional delivery, and hidden messages that signal ‘you don’t belong here’ or ‘I don’t value what you have to say.’ Most are unintentional, but impact is what matters, not intent.
Managers shut down these conversations through two specific behaviors: tone policing (making people manage their tone to be heard) and gaslighting (dismissing feedback because they didn’t notice it themselves). Training leaders to keep conversations open—to listen first, reflect second, and respond third—is foundational to building trust.
Interrupting microaggressions requires cultural permission. Whether it’s a manager calling something in during a group meeting or a peer offering feedback one-on-one later, the organization must signal that being interrupted is a sign someone cares about your growth, not an attack.
The real skill isn’t memorizing every possible microaggression—it’s learning conflict resolution and adopting a pause-and-reflect practice when you misstep. Asking ‘Did that land okay?’ or ‘I want to understand what you meant’ builds relationships and creates space for learning instead of defensiveness.
Frequently
Asked
Questions
What exactly is a microaggression in the workplace?
Microaggressions are everyday comments, behaviors, and slights—intentional or unintentional—that carry hidden messages of exclusion or aggression. They reflect unconscious biases and seem harmless on the surface but communicate ‘you don’t belong here’ or ‘I don’t value you.’ They’re not small; the term is misleading. The impact is what matters.
How should managers respond when they hear a microaggression?
Interrupt when you recognize it. In group settings, call it in directly and tie it to company values. One-on-one, ask for permission to share feedback later. The key is keeping the conversation open—avoid tone policing or dismissing the person’s experience. Frame interruption as care and growth opportunity.
What if I'm not sure if I committed a microaggression?
Ask. A simple check-in—’I’m not sure if what I said landed okay, can we talk about it?’—opens dialogue and builds relationship. Respect individual preferences; what’s okay for one person may not be for another. Learning inclusive language and adopting gender-neutral greetings also safeguards against careless mistakes.
Why do microaggressions matter if they're unintentional?
Because they compound. One comment might seem small, but repeated microaggressions create a ‘death by a thousand cuts’ effect. They linger psychologically, damage mental health, and drive retention—people leave jobs and end relationships over repeated microaggressions, not single incidents.
How can organizations prepare for microaggressions when returning to in-person work?
Be intentional about rebuilding culture. Refresh conversations around inclusive language, appropriate interactions, and how to build community. Don’t assume remote-work norms translate to the office. Create space for people to reconnect without assumptions about physical changes or personal circumstances.